Hi! The effort you have gone to to write this post shows your passion and desire for better results.

Learning to play an instrument can create anxiety for many and if you are anxious by nature then the difficulties can be magnified and multiplied. I do not, however, attribute ones ability to succeed on the instrument to their genetic makeup.

What is unfortunate here is that you are mentally defeated.

A deep breath is not going to fix everything but is part of the relearning PROCESS. Most people feel like beginners again when integrating these approaches and that is to be celebrated. The only way to make change is to do things differently!

As I said when I spoke to you on Skype, there are fundamental issues with your foundation that need to be addressed. This can be very challenging and requires a step back from what you are currently doing that is inhibiting your current playing.

If you are anxious in general and impatient for better results, you are going to end up writing epic threads on forums to try and get help.

The simple truth is, making change is difficult and you need to make changes. The good new is that it is very possible. The Largo Stage has a heap of information here that you need to REALLY embrace, patiently. You have been PLAYING FOR 10 YEARS so while you might not make massive changes in a week or two, taking your time to work through and carefully embracing what is on offer will unlock your inefficiencies.

I highly recommend sitting in a dark, silent place with your eyes closed and humming long tones and working on the 1% rule. There are 2 massive benefits to doing this:

1. Humming activates the vagus nerve and the vibration can help relieve or actually completely eliminate the sensation of anxiety.
2. Playing is no harder than humming/talking/singing and reinforcing this is idea by using the voice trains the subconscious to “back off” when attempting to play.

Your playing is very forced from the Low C and you recognised how much tension was creeping into your playing in the middle register. This MUST be unlocked.

I am really sorry to hear about the emotional challenges you have to deal with. If you can possibly find a way to separate them from your music and use playing as a therapy rather than a burden, you will get much greater satisfaction.

Play music for the love of music with the ability you own now and let the reprogramming you are doing seep into your playing over time. Stop trying to FORCE massive changes on a dysfunctional setup. Sounds a little harsh but is the painful truth.

I wish you all the best.
Greg