John and wjtakacs,

I’ve been following your posts with interest. I had aspired to progress quite far with the horn, although I was a pianist first, and started on the horn in my late 40s. I’m currently dealing with some serious playing issues that seemed to build as I continued to play with too much tension, particularly with more challenging repertoire. Over the years, I’ve been taught a spectrum of concepts and techniques, especially regarding air support, embouchure, horn angle and playing effort. Now I’m finding that everything has come to a head, and I can’t run from my situation. I must fix it if I aspire to continue playing and performing with the groups I’ve been in. Part of this involves surrendering to the rebuilding process, letting go of control, being willing to sound like crap, trusting the direction, not paralyzing myself with over-analysis and not being hard on myself. This is a difficult journey, and I’m not sure where it will lead, but I know I can’t continue to play the way I have in the past. It takes time to undo old patterns and replace them with healthier ones. I also believe that when we reach a point of surrender, we open ourselves up to the best opportunity to make positive, lasting change.