Hi Steve, I understand what you are saying. I can no longer play the way I used to but I have no desire to do so either. Yes people often told me I sounded good but I just got sick of the constant internal dialogues and mantras that were constantly running through my head during rehearsals and concerts. I’d had enough “Hail Mary ” moments and having a sore throat and shoulders from manipulation. To me the logic of Greg’s approach is inescapable. I highly recommend a Skype lesson with him. I had one after 10 months of the course and realized I hadn’t absorbed the concepts like I thought I had. Coved 19 sucks but I’ve got to assume there are no rehearsals or concerts for you right now because of it. To me it’s an opportunity put aside anxiety inducing expectations and calmly, emotionally detached approach to re wiring myself. Those neuro pathways I’ve created for myself run deep and I know it’s going to take a good amount of time to create new ones. Honestly though, just releasing air into my instrument without force and fear is very therapeutic. I know the sound will come.

Best wishes,
Eric