Hi, Alan,

I’ve experienced unintentional vibrato when being put on the spot for a tuning note, only to be able to play it perfectly fine at home. I’ve also had playing situations where I was totally in the zone, playing in front of a mic in front of the band. Unfortunately, my discomfort with certain playing situations and the physical response to these built up a pattern of extreme tension, which eventually seeped into my playing and practice. I’m working on rewiring now. This involves a complete teardown of playing psychology in favor of a healthier mindset to develop new neural pathways, along with paying close attention to triggers and finding ways to reinforce more efficient playing. Personally, I suspect that there is a strong link between focal dystonia and performance anxiety/perfectionism. When they are both present, they feed each other like crazy. Look closely at Greg’s playing psychology. It’s deep and part of the path. What you’re describing could be the beginning of a dystonic pattern, but I’m no expert. Patterns can be changed with focus and effort.

Wow, thank you both for sharing. Alan, I think you’ve come to the right place–I am sure Greg will be able to help.

I had a big gap between when I was playing in high school and college, then coming back a year 1/2 ago, but I believe much of my issues were mental.

And still now, the issues i have are mental–I lose focus on what I should be focusing on (process, technique, relaxing, openness) and begin focusing on results and manipulating.

Had another setback the other day, kind of losing the sensations I had gained to play easily above the staff with passive air.
So I just focused on backing off the air and trying to play openly and focusing on a resonant sound, and I turned it back around again–had a great day today, perhaps the best I’ve ever played.

I try to focus on playing openly, as relaxed as possible with the only tension being in my aperture corners (as needed).

Closing my eyes helps me as well, but realize you can’t do that when you’re watching your conductor queue you for a tuning note, but perhaps you can practice doing the tuning note at home that way repeatedly–perhaps that will condition your mind to new sensations.

My $.02 FWIW.

Thanks for posting to the forum and sharing your experience, I think that’s helpful to us all. We’re all on this journey and have different perspectives, some of which may help others.

Best,

John